This isn't like me..

I'm not used to planning our weekends days in advance. I'm definitely not used to spending most of my time with the same individual. The thought of it used to make me sick, the thought of having to rely on someone other than me. And I never really gave relationships a chance because the first time I was invited somewhere, like as a couple, was enough to make me realize that I didn't want to be a couple in the first place.
I've realized it's different, though. I mean, we're not like those thirteen year old couples where you have mall dates but your mom comes along, and you try to wear high heels because you feel older.. even though your mom's there. And your boyfriend gives you kisses in front of her and it's completely normal because in Mexico they get married at that age. Whatever. It's not like we're one of those couples, but it's a lot different than i thought. I never thought i would want to spend most of my days with the same boy. I never thought I would invite a boy to family events.. and I definitely never thought I'd go to the Pulga with him in the same car as my parents. It's not about reliance, and it's not about co-dependence. I'm still myself.
I always used to preach to any girl that needed preaching to, (ha) about how you shouldn't rely on a boy.. and you should value your alone time because it is precious and if we can't spend time with ourselves and be comfortable then something is very wrong..and about going after your dreams instead of chasing boys, because they come and go and neither one of them is a reason to get up in the morning. I feel like a big trader because all of this talk about being a single, happy female..i turned out to grow-out of. No, that's not the word. I just found the right person.  and I sincerely hope every girl does..but not before they've learned to love, respect, and depend on only themselves (besides G-love). It's key.

I suppose this isn't like me, but I do like where i'm headed..