Todays Constant

I had this song stuck in my head all day and alls id do was kinda just hum the words to the rythm of the song cause i wasnt sure what the lyrics were so i got home a bit ago and decided to google the lyrics. I was more than amazed and what they say. Its like i subconciously knew.
When your mind is a mess
So is mine
I cant sleep
Cause it hurts when I think
My thoughts aren't at peace
With the plans that we make
Chances we take
They're, not yours and not mine
There's waves that can break
All the words that we say
And the words that we mean
Words can fall short
Can't see the unseen
Cause the world is awake
For somebody's sake now, please close your eyes woman
Please get some sleep

And know that if I knew
All of the answers I would
Not hold them from you'd
Know all the things that i'd know
We told each other, there is no other way

Well too much silence can be misleading
You're drifting I can hear it in the way that your breathing
We don't really need to find reason
Cause out the same door that it came well its leaving its leaving
Leaving like a day that's done and part of a season
Resolve is just a concept that's as dead as the leaves
But at least we can sleep, its all that we need
When we wake we will find
Our minds will be free to go to sleep

And know that if I knew
All of the answers I would
Not hold them from you'd
Know all the things that i'd know
We told each other, there is no other way

I did say i was always alone.

It isnt easy to grow with somebody apart yet together. It takes a few seconds or minutes to get my reactions together and I understand how dreadful that may be.I am not silent cause i ignore but because i think. I love you no matter what.

Home, not a building.

I've found a home that floats with me everywhere i go, in my heart in my thoughts in my soul. I spent the previous 3 days in a state of depression due to the distance and the inability to be able hear or touch my love. Im back now though and simply knowing that she's only 4 minutes away lets me rest at ease. In every traveling experience ive left my heart at home, my true home. My wife, my life, my happiness. Being able to achieve this in life is something beautiful and i will forever be thankfull and in love. This feeling will never die nor will it ever even slightly deminish. I accept this commitment to stay true to this love in more than just the state of fidelity. We are blessed and it doesnt end here. I apologize for the little moments where i cant control myself and i give in but i try and i try hard. I shall share our story with the world. How G-Love blessed me with a life i didnt ask for and a wife i couldn't have described better for me myself. None of this will ever be taken for granted.

Apart

I feel like half of my soul is gone. The sky is an entirely new color tonight, and what I normally love about this weather doesn't feel as good as it should. I used to love alone time, used to go out of my way to have alone time. Alone time never meant I felt alone until now.

But he comes home tomorrow. Home to his wife, home to my arms. I can't wait.

Natural Scents

It's been a couple days and we're doing great. The strength doesn't come from within ourselves, and the reason we're doing so well is because we know home is where the comfort, love, and even the simplest things like a familiar scent, is. It would be too easy to give up; just for half a second, to drown in these worldly pleasures and forget about the things that matter. I'm blessed to have him and I wouldn't ask for anyone, or anything, else. The easiest and most rewarding thing I've done in my entire life has been to truly love this gift that God has given me. Our destiny has been written down, all we're doing is crossing out G-love's checklist. Next on the list, marriage.

Her Perspective

Something I’d never felt, it can’t be helped

Caresses quickly turn into something else

Then what seems like seconds later,

You’re staring at the clock and its

Been hours since you gave up and said yeah, sure

Your mind says not again,

And your conscience tells you not to repeat the sin

But it’s too sweet, too much of a rush

Plus you got the mentality of

Everybody’s doing it, it ain’t too much

But you still know its wrong even if you aint the only one

Hours later you’re wishin you could repeat

At least the moment when you hit your peak

Or so you thought,

Because hours after that you’re thinking what the fuck

Told yourself it wouldn’t happen again

Now you’re sittin here wishing you could pretend

you were able to resist it and its trend

Although its something I’d never felt,

It’s gonna have to be helped.

And a caress is simply that,

Shouldn’t be turned to something else.

Nothing Grey

He gave us something so special so one of a kind. We have something everybody longs for and figuring out how to really appreciate it is part of this journey. Its easy to take something new for granted if you dont take the time to disect and understand it completely. Not only do i feel selfish at the moment but i also feel like ive disrespected what G-Loves given us and like ive disrespected My Love. I didnt mean to. Being "only human" is a tired excuse and i know it but i fall due to it and G-Love you know i try. I know you know just how much i appreciate what you have done for me and the people i love. Forgive me father. I am so in Love and the ultimate feeling of affection is tempting beyond my control and so i try time and time again to contain myself often failing. All i want is to feel her that close to me and i know you'd approve if the timing were right. Again i apologize and i thank you. I can wait until the time is appropriate. Thank you for giving me someone so beautiful in mind and body who teaches me about you and myself everyday. I couldn't have described the perfect partner any better than this. You knew what i needed better than i do. My creator, I love you.

Meet Me In Montauk

This home smells so familiar. I've broken into this building while it was abandoned time and time again, alone. This is where ive built my love my art my creativity my every fucking little thing that has any remote meaning, this is where i stored it and now the only person who's made the cut in the audition of comfort and genuine Love has found her way back into this home and we begin where we left off, building us this home this surrounding this world perfect for us.